I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
we're so committed to being not committed
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