There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
