Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I am naked and annoyed.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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