I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Randomize
