Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize