you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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