at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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