I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
from now on my penis is your penis
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Randomize
