so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
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