just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
