yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Randomize
