I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
