i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
