so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
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