your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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