is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Randomize
