My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
