____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Randomize
