It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
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