i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
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