4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Christians are straight up FREAKS
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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