have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
