why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
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