so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
