woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
