My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
