The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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