this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Even my vagina gasped.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Randomize
