TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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