I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Randomize
