absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
