Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
