I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
My feet surprised me
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize
