Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
