Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize