I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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