I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
