He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I would fuck him just for his dog
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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