wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
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