my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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