he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
where are you?
Hypothermia
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
