...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
