It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Randomize
