After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Randomize
