Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize