I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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