I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
