Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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