you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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