My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
