my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
