dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
