There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
