It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
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