I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
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