I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
