Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
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