and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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