youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
She announced her abortion via fbk
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
