my mouth tastes like poor choices
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
