Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
