i was rollin on her like bob the builder
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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