saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
