i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
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