I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
